{"id":1838,"date":"2026-07-13T12:33:39","date_gmt":"2026-07-13T10:33:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/carlaperezmarti.com\/tancada-en-una-gabia-dor\/"},"modified":"2026-09-25T13:30:33","modified_gmt":"2026-09-25T11:30:33","slug":"tancada-en-una-gabia-dor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/carlaperezmarti.com\/ca\/tancada-en-una-gabia-dor\/","title":{"rendered":"Tancada en una g\u00e0bia d’or"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Tot era tan bonic al principi! Alg\u00fa poder\u00f3s s’havia fixat en v\u00f3s, i us portava en una safata, us cuidava i protegia\u2026 no enteneu qu\u00e8 us ha passat, i us pregunteu una vegada i una altra per qu\u00e8 el vostre pr\u00edncep blau s’ha convertit en granota. Era el m\u00e9s guapo, el m\u00e9s popular, el cap de qui totes coment\u00e0veu com era d’atractiu i la ll\u00e0stima que estigu\u00e9s feli\u00e7ment casat, el professor que us animava quan vol\u00edeu abandonar la carrera, aquell senyor tan elegant i encantador que us donava les gr\u00e0cies quan li serv\u00edeu el caf\u00e8\u2026 I ara us sentiu tancada en una g\u00e0bia d’or<\/strong>. Una g\u00e0bia perqu\u00e8 no teniu llibertat, no podeu pensar per v\u00f3s mateixa, i d’or perqu\u00e8 aparentment tot \u00e9s meravell\u00f3s i funcioneu com una parella mod\u00e8lica. A poc a poc, comen\u00e7ueu a despertar-vos de la vostra fantasia, cada dia que passa us falta m\u00e9s l’aire i, si continueu aix\u00ed, sabeu que moriu en vida; el problema \u00e9s que no sabeu com escapar. <\/p>\n\n

Tot va comen\u00e7ar quan ell us confessa que no ha tingut sort en l’amor, que en realitat mai l’han estimat, que els seus amics li han fallat, que la seva dona li fa la vida impossible, o que va tenir una inf\u00e0ncia dura i sense afecte. Us emocioneu, sabeu que el podeu fer feli\u00e7, que amb v\u00f3s ha trobat la sabata que li va al peu perqu\u00e8 el cuidareu i el tractareu com a un rei. Us sentiu atreta pel seu magnetisme, el seu \u00e8xit, el seu carisma, la seva vulnerabilitat, afalagada per la confian\u00e7a que ha dipositat en v\u00f3s explicant-vos la seva intimitat, us enamoreu de la pel\u00b7l\u00edcula que us ven, del fet que sou \u00fanica, especial, la millor!<\/strong> Sembla mentida que aquesta hist\u00f2ria us estigui passant a v\u00f3s i no a una altra, \u00e9s com si f\u00f3ssiu la protagonista d’una com\u00e8dia rom\u00e0ntica, una barreja entre Pretty Woman, la Sireneta i Dirty Dancing. <\/p>\n\n

Quan ja sou seva, les coses comencen a canviar\u2026 A poc a poc, descobriu una persona rancorosa, envejosa, recelosa, insegura. La relaci\u00f3 \u00e9s el seu refugi on es llepa les ferides de l’exterior, el seu discurs \u00e9s que els altres s\u00f3n una amena\u00e7a i v\u00f3s sou l’\u00fanica que el compr\u00e8n, per\u00f2 en realitat \u00e9s perqu\u00e8 no us atreviu a dir-li el que realment penseu. Un dia arribeu a casa emocionada dient-li que heu trobat la feina de la vostra vida, encara que aix\u00f2 significar\u00e0 sacrificar temps junts, o heu trobat un curs que millorar\u00e0 el vostre perfil professional, o simplement li dieu que teniu un sopar amb les amigues de l’escola i que us fa tanta il\u00b7lusi\u00f3 retrobar-vos amb elles. Per\u00f2 llavors, de sobte, el vostre home encantador es converteix en un ogre despietat i cruel.<\/strong> Us humilia i denigra, parla per v\u00f3s dient-vos que tot aix\u00f2 no ho necessiteu, que \u00e9s dolent, es mostra aspre, sever, i reaci al fet que us prengueu aquesta llibertat sense haver-li consultat. Us ven la pel\u00b7l\u00edcula que sou un de sol i que totes les decisions s’han de considerar junts; a m\u00e9s, si ell us ho d\u00f3na tot, intenta conv\u00e8ncer-vos que res no us satisfar\u00e0 tant com la seva companyia, que us avorrireu i us decebreu. Al final decidiu que \u00e9s millor quedar-se a casa, i no veure-li les orelles al llop mantenint una harmonia tan falsa que us v\u00e9nen ganes de vomitar. <\/p>\n\n

Us creieu que la gent del vostre voltant pensa que la vostra vida \u00e9s perfecta, encara que quan trenqueu, molts us acaben confessant que no entenien com pod\u00edeu aguantar tot all\u00f2. Quan us imagineu deixant-lo, feu un pas enrere. No voleu disgustar la vostra fam\u00edlia, ni els vostres amics, per\u00f2 sobretot no voleu fer-li mal a ell. Com tindreu el cor de trencar un amor tan fort, \u00fanic i especial?<\/strong> La culpa us mataria, aix\u00ed que preferiu deixar-ho tot tal com est\u00e0. Us autoconvenceu que no sempre tot \u00e9s tan dolent i que de vegades teniu bons moments. Penseu que potser algun dia canviar\u00e0, quan maduri, quan solucioni els seus problemes familiars, quan trobi una bona feina\u2026 per\u00f2 els anys passen i v\u00f3s continueu all\u00e0, infeli\u00e7 i tancada. <\/p>\n\n

Un dia, us armeu de valor intentant expressar les vostres necessitats no cobertes, intenteu plantejar-li demanar ajuda externa\u2026 la seva resposta \u00e9s negativa; en realitat, ell no hi veu problemes en la relaci\u00f3, v\u00f3s teniu tots els deures i ell tots els drets<\/strong>, aix\u00ed que s’enfada i tanca el tema amb un sopar rom\u00e0ntic que per a v\u00f3s \u00e9s un tanatori.<\/p>\n\n

Cada vegada que us fereix, que us treu la llibertat, v\u00f3s inconscientment el castigueu sense sexe, sempre us fa mal el cap i esteu cansada, per\u00f2 si s’enfada, acabeu accedint sentint de tot menys plaer; fins i tot a vegades se us han escapat les ll\u00e0grimes, sobretot quan noteu que ell ni s’adona que no esteu fent l’amor perqu\u00e8 en realitat esteu lluny, absent i perduda.<\/p>\n\n

Us pregunteu si us est\u00e0 maltractant, si s’assembla als homes del telenot\u00edcies que assassinen les seves dones i us enorgulliu d’ell, dient-vos que \u00e9s diferent perqu\u00e8 mai us posaria la m\u00e0 a sobre. I us sentiu afortunada, passant per alt que, encara que no us pega, us menysprea, us ignora, us mana, us crida, us humilia, us controla, us reclama atenci\u00f3 constant, us tracta com una esclava, mai us agraeix res del que feu, encara que visqueu per ell i la vostra vida sigui la seva vida. El seu cercle \u00e9s molt m\u00e9s important que el vostre: els seus amics, la seva fam\u00edlia, el seu esport; el seu temps \u00e9s sagrat, el vostre no val res\u2026 i per usar-lo li heu de demanar<\/strong> perm\u00eds<\/strong>. Sense adonar-vos-en deixeu de veure les vostres amigues, la relaci\u00f3 amb la vostra mare es refreda perqu\u00e8 ell es posava gel\u00f3s i \u00e9s millor no fer-lo enfadar. A poc a poc deixeu de banda la vostra vida anterior, us distancieu del vostre entorn, deixeu de ser v\u00f3s mateixa per convertir-vos en un ap\u00e8ndix d’ell. De sobte, sou la seva secret\u00e0ria, la seva m\u00e0nager, la seva infermera, la seva consellera, la seva mare, la seva psic\u00f2loga, la seva gueixa, dep\u00e8n del que necessiti en cada moment, perqu\u00e8 no importa qui sou, importa el que li oferiu.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n

De fet, heu perdut molt de contacte amb els vostres amics, i creieu que ara, si us separ\u00e9ssiu, us trobar\u00edeu molt sola i sense forces. No feu res que no sigui junts; el que feu sola \u00e9s un complement, per\u00f2 el centre de la vostra vida \u00e9s ell. Hi ha una part de v\u00f3s que idealitza el vostre vincle: ning\u00fa t\u00e9 tanta compenetraci\u00f3 com vosaltres<\/strong>, ning\u00fa t\u00e9 una parella que li truqui tantes vegades al dia i que li deixi tants WhatsApps amb missatges amorosos i rom\u00e0ntics. Encara que al final, moltes vegades us canseu de les trucadetes sense sentit i us sentiu controlada i asfixiada de tanta dol\u00e7or. <\/p>\n\n

Per\u00f2 sempre arriba un moment de clic, un moment de lucidesa, i comen\u00e7ueu a plantejar-vos que potser la felicitat \u00e9s fora de la g\u00e0bia d’or<\/strong>, encara que estigueu sola, encara que visqueu amb menys comoditats, encara que a priori cregueu que no us en sortireu per v\u00f3s mateixa. Sabeu que \u00e9s ara o mai i que \u00e9s la vostra oportunitat per escapar. El clic apareix, potser en el moment que trobeu un grup d’amigues i veieu que v\u00f3s no podeu sortir amb elles per estar amb la vostra parella. Llavors us adoneu que les seves cares no s\u00f3n d’enveja sin\u00f3 de rebuig cap a la vostra manera de portar la relaci\u00f3 i sentiu per primera vegada que el que teniu no \u00e9s sa. Un altre clic us pot oc\u00f3rrer quan noteu que el vostre amant-cap est\u00e0 flirtejant amb una altra companya de feina. O el clic apareix quan un altre home us tracta diferent, us considera, us valora\u2026 o veieu la vostra amiga amb el seu marit, que s\u00f3n un equip, que discuteixen les coses, perqu\u00e8 \u00e9s una relaci\u00f3 amb dues veus. Un altre cl\u00e0ssic clic \u00e9s quan us d\u00f3na l’anell i comen\u00e7ueu a projectar el vostre futur amb el vostre pr\u00edncep a llarg termini i nom\u00e9s de pensar-ho us sentiu trista i espantada. I el clic m\u00e9s revelador, quan apareix el tercer en disc\u00f2rdia: els fills. I sorprenentment, encara que siguin sang de la seva sang, es mostra gel\u00f3s, demana la vostra atenci\u00f3 constant i no \u00e9s afectu\u00f3s amb ells, ja que els percep com un obstacle entre vosaltres. <\/p>\n\n

Les dones poden aguantar molt, i aix\u00f2 \u00e9s part del problema, que no defensen el seu espai, les seves necessitats i els seus drets, per\u00f2 quan s’arriba a un massa, la gota que vessa el got, la part sana desperta la part disfuncional, i la dona comen\u00e7a a maquinar la fugida. Al final, recuperar la pr\u00f2pia veu, l’autoestima, tornar a creure en una mateixa\u2026 no \u00e9s f\u00e0cil, per\u00f2 sortir de la g\u00e0bia \u00e9s el primer pas per tornar a conquerir la vostra llibertat.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n

Aquest article est\u00e0 inspirat en hist\u00f2ries reals de pacients que he pogut acompanyar en el seu viatge de fugida i el dedico a totes elles, a les valentes, que un dia van ser sinceres amb elles mateixes, van aconseguir demanar ajuda i recompondre les seves vides.<\/p>\n\n

Els ocells nascuts en g\u00e0bia creuen que volar \u00e9s una malaltia. Alejandro Jodorowsky. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tot era tan bonic al principi! Alg\u00fa poder\u00f3s s’havia fixat en v\u00f3s, i us portava en una safata, us cuidava i protegia\u2026 no enteneu qu\u00e8 us ha passat, i us pregunteu una vegada i una altra per qu\u00e8 el vostre pr\u00edncep blau s’ha convertit en granota. Era el m\u00e9s guapo, el m\u00e9s popular, el cap […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1839,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sin-categorizar"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n\u25b7Tancada en una g\u00e0bia d'or - \u3010 Carla P\u00e9rez Marti. \u3011<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Tot era tan bonic al principi! 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